Okay so my brother, Billy Jay Sharpehead, he is from the Enoch Cree Nation, he disappeared in September of 2003, he was walking down a dirt road in Enoch, and he was last seen by his father-in-law. And from what we were told by the RCMP, my brother had been in an argument with someone, and he was despondent, so he left, and that was the last time that we saw him.

“What was like as a person, such as his goals, passions and connections to culture and community?” WLMN Interview Questions (4:16, H. Williams)

My brother Jay he was a person with a heart of gold. He loved women very much, my mother and myself, he really held us in high regard. He was a dancer, a singer, a drummer, an artist, he was a very creative person, he’s very much like the rest of our family, we have a lot of musicians and artists, and performers, so that was something that he sort of gravitated to. He would always draw, he loved to sketch eagles, and funny enough we put an eagle on our ribbon skirts when we had a ceremony for him, basically for my mom, so what I said was when we do the ribbon skirts we’ll put an eagle on there and that will represent my brother, because he is free now; he is free from the pain of his life, and he’s flying free in the sky. So we had that put on the skirts as signifying that part of his life and his journey.

“Is there anything you want others in society to understand about your bother, or about other stories similar to his?” WLMN Interview Question, (5:26, H. Williams)

My brother, he came from a family with a lot of trauma. Our mother is a residential school survivor, my father, it was difficult for him as well. Growing up, there was a lot of poverty amongst our Nation, so he didn’t have the best start throughout life and I think part of that trauma that our parents suffered definitely came onto all of us, so it was very hard for him to navigate life. There weren’t a lot of supports for us when we were growing up and going through the things we went through, so he sort of got lost in that and he ended up in prison a lot. Being institutionalized, it was hard for him when he did come out of the institution to try to live amongst society, he didn’t have a lot of supports when he was in prison and when he came out he didn’t hve a lot either, so he kind of just “flopped around”, if you will, and tried to figure out things but for him, it was definitely more hard because being a man, like growing up my dad always said to my fathers, “be a man, be strong, be tough” but they needed that help, the men need that help as well too, right. It was more available for me, like it felt like I had more opportunities to get that, but my dad would say to my brothers, “Be a man, be tough, you don’t need that kind of stuff”, and that’s not true, our men are human beings just like we are. And to not have that support throughout his life, it really, it was really devastating to him and that’s why I feel like he went in that direction. You know, I think, there should be more of that, especially for our men, because there are actually a lot more missing and murdered Indigenous men out there than there are women, people just don’t know that. 

“In your perspective, what does ‘healing’ and ‘justice’ mean to you?” WLMN Interview Questions, (7:35, H. Williams) 

Healing for me, it means coming to these sorts of things, these gatherings where we can meet with families and share our trauma, and talk about all of the different aspects of their loved one and how they disappeared, what their life was like, and that’s just the common goal, is a lot of the residential schools stuff and 60s stuff. So in that learning and talking with people, we form this bond, if you will, and it’s like healing to us because they can understand how we feel and we can lend support to each other. Justice, more help. More help for families, for discoverment, to really take a look at what this all means. Our people are far more, it’s more dangerous for us, and they just don’t see that, and I feel like they should get down to speaking to us, the people who are the families of it, and really listen to what we are saying and telling that we need more supports. We need more supports for our men, our women, our communities, all of that stuff. 

“How was culture and community a part of his life?” WLMN Interview Questions, (9:08, H. Williams)

Culture, from my mom’s family she’s from Mistawasis, so my brother took a lot of that from being over there, we went back there for ceremony a lot of the times. When he was institutionalized, he also had the opportunity to enjoy that. When he was in prison, he actually made his own grass dance outfit, and that was like, to him, it was part of his healing he said, to create that and to teach himself how to dance. Towards the end of his life he was really starting to appreciate our culture more, and it was starting to strengthen him. He said, “I feel like I can start to live”, I think that’s what he said about it, but he said “I feel like I’m starting to live now” because he had designed his own regalia, he was singing, and he was drumming and all that stuff, he was sketching more and he said, “you know what sis, I feel like I can get it together” is one of the last things he said to me, and that to me was beautiful, that’s part of our culture. Reminding us that, you know, we are connected to the earth and mother earth will always take care of us. That was a really beautiful thing that he told me towards the end, before he disappeared. For me and my family, it’s been a struggle, you know. It’s the uncertainty, and not knowing what happened to him is the most hurtful thing of this whole journey that we’ve been on, because you spend your life sitting there wondering, like when I’m driving in my car and I drive by somebody that’s walking on the street and that if that person kind of looks like my brother it automatically stops my heart, and I think, “is that my brother? Is that my brother?” and actually on one occasion, I did drive by somebody, and I thought he looked like my brother, so I turned around and went to go drive by him again, but it wasn’t him, but just stuff like that where you’re wondering, right? And then in the news if you hear, “oh, remains were found”, I’m automatically on the phone calling whatever detachment it is, “hey listen, I am just calling in to find out is it a male, female, like it’s always that thing that I am constantly doing, and looking out for my brother. I continue to search, even though we had a funeral service for him, I continue to do work on my computer. I’m not able to physically go out there anymore, but I still do that kind of work, I email with a number of Facebook groups, Facebook is fantastic by the way when sharing information. I go on TikTok, I go on Instagram, I go on snapchat, I go on all the platforms and there are a lot of great people out there that continue to help me and sadly, they’re strangers. But if the people around us could help, that would be, you know, we would appreciate that more.

“Is there anything else you’d like to share about your brother or his story?” WLMN Interview Questions, (12:37, H. Williams)

Just that my brother mattered. He was, he was a great person; he loved life, he loved his family, whether that was someone close or like a second or third cousin, that was the most important thing to my brother was that sense of family. And I think in prison, when he was in there, that’s what he was really missing was that connection to his family. That was one thing that he really loved. He loved his community, he loved our family, I just wish he loved himself a little bit more, perhaps that you know, the terrible things wouldn’t have happened but, again growing up in that kind of environment if was hard to try to have that attitude and outlook towards life but, I just want people to know that he’s never forgotten, he’s always loved, and he’s always in our heart.