I’m a survivor, I am a family advocate, and a family member. So, you know, coming from those realms its important to me to just share as much as I possibly can. My mother, Ruby Anne Macdonald, she was murdered her in Edmonton in 1999, was the you know awaking point for me of how we are treated in this country and what we had to fight through and what we’re still fighting through. It’s really sad though, you know my mother never received any kind of justice, no you know, no kind of care really, it was my Fort McKay family that came in to care for her while we were out there looking for the person who took her life. We were successful bringing him in but again I had to watch him walk away and that really broke me. I went into, you know, a lot of addiction and problems, and you know I just felt like I didn’t want to be here anymore. Unfortunately, years after that happened to my mother, it happened to me; a man tried to murder me off Yellowhead trail, and I had to fight for my life. And I ran so fast that I ran out of my shoes, so when I called for police to come they left me there, they never came because they asked what nationality is the woman that that happened to, and when I said Aboriginal or native, they left me there. So long walk home in my bare feet, and knowing this happens to my people, knowing this happens to our women and girls, and this is what happening to me, and after that I changed my life. That was about, that was twenty-seven years ago when that happened to me, I changed my life for the next twenty-six years and I dedicated my life for the past seventeen years is being an advocate and just sharing the story I shared with you, and sharing what happened to me, what happened to my mother is very important you know, I’m very lucky to be alive so, I feel that I have a responsibility in truth and a responsibility as a survivor and these different lenses to just make sure that I, you know, I try to get us safer, I try to educate, share truth, and make sure that we can make some kind of change, and just support those who need it and be a voice for others that don’t have it. 

   

“As a way to honor your mom, what were some of her passions or goals, or is there anything else about her you would like to share” WLMN Interview Questions, (5:15, H.Williams). 

Well my mother was a beautiful, beautiful woman, inside and out, and unfortunately she went to not only one but two residential schools, so she carried a lot of extra hurt, a lot of extra abuse, because she was such a beautiful girl, such a beautiful woman, that kind of attention in a survival time for her made it harder for her. But you know just being her daughter and you know, learning a lot about her she was a wonderfully talented dancer, she was one of the first gogo dancer, indigenous woman gogo dancer for the bands in Alberta, that was something she never shared with us, that’s something I found out later. And I was wondering why she would always put me in dance, she put me in modelling, she put me in acting, she do all this stuff for me. I was wondering, you know, so artistic, and why she always getting me out there which was just lovely that she’d do that for me. I remember being a little girl dancing in this pink tutu and I’d just like, looking at her like, you know, she never shared that with us. And then I found out too that she was just a wonderful hairdresser, she was a hairdresser and its funny because now that I remember as a little girl she’d used to do my hair, do my makeup, you know just like all these things with me and she taught me how to, you know, cook certain things, she was a wonderful cook, but so talented in the arts, just so talented, music lover, oh she loved music, she really loved music, so I think that’s where I got that from, so you know now I’m on stages, opening for big names, now im a professional recording artist, she made sure that we had a lot of music in the home, we always had music in the home, and she loved all kinds of music it doesn’t matter what kind it was, as long as it spoke to her, it spoke to us. I remember going through all the records we used to have so I’m really grateful for that. Music was my confidont, my friend, my healer, it still is. So yeah, those are some wonderful things about her. And also I just remember her beautiful hands, she had these beautiful hands and her handwriting was just immaculate so, those are some things I remember but I just remember her being so fun, loving person that was just so about life and creation, and you know so those are the beautiful things I remember about her.

“As a survivor, what are some key takeaways or truths that you want society to understand?” WLMN Interview Questions, (8:15, H. Williams)

As a survivor, that trauma bleeds into our everyday in different levels, I think that’s a big thing and our loved ones and what happened to us, it never goes away, it never goes away. It just depends on how we handle ourselves, how we react to things, how we take our steps in our healing journey. You know, I just want people to know that these horrible things that have happened to us historically are still happening to us today, and right now we are in a lot of danger, we’re still not safe. You know, that’s part of my job, is trying to change that and trying to keep us safe, and its really hard when the people who created the problem are doing the financial cutback to our solutions, so its really sad that our, you know, murdered and missing funding is now cut, so that’s a big issue for this country and the families. We have a lot of work to do We’re still going through genocide, we’re still going through racism, were still going through planned oppression, and when the legal system allows people to hurt us with minimal time, when a country doesn’t charge human traffickers with human trafficking, we’re in trouble. We’re the most hunted and targeted population in this country though its our own country, though we are the lowest population wherever we go, we are highly highly targeted ad hunted, because this country has told the public that we are disposable. And so, with things like the national inquiry, when the public and all people are not answering the calls, us survivors feel very failed, we feel very failed even still to this day. There’s not a justice system, it’s a legal system, and people say its broken, but we don’t believe it to be so, we just can’t go to the people that created the problem for the solutions, so we’re realizing that. I think that as survivors as well, we need more right leadership to be leaders for their people and community. I think more than ever right  now when we keep being failed in these systems that’s don’t work for us, and yeah we need a lot more leadership to come back down to ground and you know, as a survivor and a grassroots person, I think grassroots is very very important and it should be more supported,  that’s a big one. And as a survivor, I think we need to make a choice everyday of how much we love ourselves enough to build ourselves back up to heal, I think that’s the biggest thing is that many of us don’t value ourselves and we don’t love ourselves enough because we let the trauma pain block that, and we have to do everything we can to piece that little shell that’s broken within us in order to move forward, in order to take those steps everyday that we need to take. So, I think the most important thing is self love and self care, at this point as a survivor, and just making sure that we don’t leave ourselves behind on the back burner, though we try to move fiercely forward for others, we just have to remember not to forget ourselves for you. 

“In terms of justice and healing, what do these words mean to you?” WLMN Interview question, (11:57, H. Williams)

Well, justice is a mythical thing, its not really, its not something you really see, its not something that we really hear in our communities. WE are utterly failed in justice, so that’s a word that’s not really used that much, I think, it’s a word for other people other than Indigenous People. So, you know, I don’t think we’re ever going to get the proper healing we deserve until we get the justice, we’re rightfully deserved. That’s a big thing, but we have a lot of people that don’t know truth, so when it comes to justice and healing, you need to know truth, you need to be woke, you can’t be in your slumper anymore, because only when we know the truth of what’s happening to our people can we actually make that change, and like I said I think with justice and healing, leadership has to take on a bigger role, leadership has to take on a bigger role, and also I think with justice and healing, the lateral violence has to go. I think that’s the biggest thing that prevents us from even having either of these things, especially the healing, because you know we are all at a place in an overpopulated world where mental health is an issue. We’re overstimulated, our phones are a curse and a blessing, I mean you know, we’re trying to find balance in this world right now, but yeah I think that justice and healing has a lot to do with just being a human being, I think we’re not acting like that much right now, because I just see these things out there changing, you know, they know what’s happening to us still nothing really  being done to a point where we have the responsibility as families at our own home fighters to make them well and warm and inviting and healing ourselves within our own homes, because when we try to go to those places where they say there is healing, we’re failed there or forgotten there. And I think our men and boys have to be included in all of this as well, we can’t leave them out; they are some of the highest rates as well, and so I think that’s really important that we have our men and boys be the protectors and warriors they were always meant to be. But I think with healing, you know that’s been with us since time of memorial, the power that we have, the resilience that we have is always within us, but we let this trauma, this anger, this hurt, and this pain block that, so its really important to piece the broken child within us because then we can move forward better, and get that healing and then go fight for that justice, because right now we really have to fight, its such a horrific outrage how we are failed in that.

“Through events like this and when sharing your story, what are some final takeaways you would like society to learn from this?” Interview questions, (15:25, H. Williams)

So that’s the thing is you need to come down to ground to find truth, you need to come talk to survivors to extend on that truth, and you need the grassroots advocates and the community people that actually love their people and are actually doing the work to be more elevated and supported, you know, but with these cuts we’re in danger, we’re in danger more than ever now with these cuts. So, I don’t understand how any Canadian would allow this to happen when they know its happening to us. I think that, you know, we have to come together more, show up for one another more, and I just want the public to know that though this is happening to us, it is happening to so many.  Yes we are the highest rates of everything awful in this country, but that is more of a strategic thing, this country does have an agenda against its owners, right, so you know, that’s our land, that’s our water, those are our trees, and I think we need to connect more to that as well. I think more Canadians need to just come together, show up for one another, you know when we are having these gatherings, when we are having these rallies and fights we need you to show up, we need you to have truth and correct those racist people when they say something; be a voice for us when we’re not around. And make sure you have the right people who are well and love their people, elevate them in those spaces and have all non-Canadians should be trained in all of this of what’s the truth and what’s really happening, and then its important for public to know the safety precautions of what’s happening when human trafficking is the fastest growing crime in this country. I think we have a lot more to do for each other. We need to be keeping each other safe, and not only that, we don’t need the smokescreen and distractions of people being separated, people fighting and arguing, because the fight isn’t between you and I, the fight is out there with the people who fail us everyday, so that’s the biggest thing; be your own advocate, be a voice for your people, and be a voice for those that are utterly failed, which is our population of peoples. You know, create that really great friendship that can always be created still, its not there yet, but I think that more people are awakening to truth, and when you have the truth that’s when you can truly make a change.